Every major drop spot on the market, priced like the property it is: verified foot traffic, average tenancy before violent eviction, homicides on record, and how often an occupant actually closes on a chicken dinner. Listing format aside, every number is computed from real Season 42 matches.
“Multiple offers expected — 17,619 parties toured this property this season. Bidding wars are not a metaphor here.”
“Multiple offers expected — 17,372 parties toured this property this season. Bidding wars are not a metaphor here.”
“Well-kept plot in an established neighborhood. 29.2% of recent tenants reached the top 10. Seller describes the gunfire as seasonal.”
“Well-kept plot in an established neighborhood. 29.5% of recent tenants reached the top 10. Seller describes the gunfire as seasonal.”
“Well-kept plot in an established neighborhood. 30.1% of recent tenants reached the top 10. Seller describes the gunfire as seasonal.”
“Open house every match, whether you like it or not. 38,762 homicides on record; the neighbors keep to themselves, permanently.”
“Well-kept plot in an established neighborhood. 28.2% of recent tenants reached the top 10. Seller describes the gunfire as seasonal.”
“Waterfront living with private beach access and swim-in wardrobes. Some flooding during the later blue phases.”
“Well-kept plot in an established neighborhood. 36.7% of recent tenants reached the top 10. Seller describes the gunfire as seasonal.”
“Well-kept plot in an established neighborhood. 34.2% of recent tenants reached the top 10. Seller describes the gunfire as seasonal.”
“Well-kept plot in an established neighborhood. 32.3% of recent tenants reached the top 10. Seller describes the gunfire as seasonal.”
“Well-kept plot in an established neighborhood. 35.5% of recent tenants reached the top 10. Seller describes the gunfire as seasonal.”
“Well-kept plot in an established neighborhood. 36.1% of recent tenants reached the top 10. Seller describes the gunfire as seasonal.”
“Turnkey opportunity: 5.9% of occupants closed on a chicken dinner. Best cover in the school district.”
“Cosmetic damage only (also structural, also ballistic). Priced to move — like you should be, constantly.”
“Quiet cul-de-sac well off the flight path. Low foot traffic, and the HOA enforces the silence.”
“Well-kept plot in an established neighborhood. 29.2% of recent tenants reached the top 10. Seller describes the gunfire as seasonal.”
“MOTIVATED SELLER. Average tenancy 10:27. Inspection waived; there is genuinely no time.”
“Quiet cul-de-sac well off the flight path. Low foot traffic, and the HOA enforces the silence.”
“Quiet cul-de-sac well off the flight path. Low foot traffic, and the HOA enforces the silence.”
“Quiet cul-de-sac well off the flight path. Low foot traffic, and the HOA enforces the silence.”
“Quiet cul-de-sac well off the flight path. Low foot traffic, and the HOA enforces the silence.”
“Quiet cul-de-sac well off the flight path. Low foot traffic, and the HOA enforces the silence.”
“Quiet cul-de-sac well off the flight path. Low foot traffic, and the HOA enforces the silence.”
“Waterfront living with private beach access and swim-in wardrobes. Some flooding during the later blue phases.”
Foot traffic counts each player's verified parachute touchdown (first vehicle-leave event in telemetry). Tenancy, churn, top-10 and closing rates come from what actually happened to the humans who landed there this season — bots are excluded everywhere. Homicides count season kill events placed in the neighborhood; PUBG telemetry records the shooter's position, so a listing's count reads as violence in the neighborhood, not strictly inside the property line. Asking prices are a fixed formula over those stats — satire, but deterministic satire.
PUBG.ARMY Realty is not a licensed brokerage. No property will be conveyed. The homicide figures, regrettably, are real.